Not long ago I heard a terrible rumor about a friend who has a wonderful family and a powerful ministry. The rumor had it that this guy was engaged in doing something that was utterly terrible and I was shocked and dismayed to hear it.
I’ve recommended numerous people to his ministry and was in a quandary as to what to do about it. I decided to quietly investigate this rumor and could find no one who could substantiate one shred of it. In fact everyone with whom I spoke had the same high opinion of this person that I did.
I now assume that the rumor was not valid, but every time I see this guy I think of it. Have you ever had an outright lie said about you? I have and it is a nightmarish scenario. It seems the more you try to proclaim your innocence the more people look at you like you’re guilty.
I record an instance of this happening to me in my autobiography, Miracle on Luckie Street, whereby I had approximately one million dollars embezzled from my company by a band of employees. After considerable effort the ringleader finally went before a grand jury and they indicted him in less than a minute. We were awaiting his trial and one day the D.A. called me and asked me to come by his office.
When I got there he accused me of trying to extort money from the perpetrator in exchange for dropping the charges, (which is a crime). I of course had done no so such thing and this criminal and his sleaze ball attorney had made the entire story up. Those idiot prosecutors would not believe me and said they wouldn’t prosecute the guy unless, get this, “I” took a lie detector test. They also threatened to prosecute me.
WHAT? I’m the victim and I have to take a lie detector test based on the criminal’s word???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Turns out they weren’t. I took the stupid test and it showed I was telling the truth. The two people from the District Attorney’s office acted like they were in total shock that I wasn’t lying. Go figure.
I think ex-employees who want to get even engage in spreading lies more than anyone. I’ve seen the most lowdown scummy employees that you can imagine tell lies and have them believed by everyone from the unemployment office, other employees, vendors, customers, banks, friends, you name it. We’ve had ex-employees that told people we maintained two sets of books and were crooks, that our company was for sale, that we were tyrannical employers, and on and on. Why someone would take their word over mine is a mystery.
This behavior is not restricted strictly to ex-employees. I had an in-law that was so bad to gossip that her church actually asked her not to come back. She would make up lies about anyone and everyone just to “stir the pot” and get some controversy going. She kept her church in a constant state of turmoil and she was so vile in stirring up turmoil in our family that I forbid her to even visit our house.
The sad thing about it is that too many people seem to want to believe the worst about people. There is no “reasonable doubt” with gossipers. Folks are convicted based on rumors passed that grow larger with each telling of the tale.
My advice for gossip is not to engage in it. If you hear something and are concerned, look for evidence that is solid to substantiate it. If it is not there, give the person the benefit of the doubt. Also consider the source. If it is someone who has a bone to pick, such as a disgruntled former employee who was run off, or a former friend who is angry at the person about one thing or another, or someone who is not likely to be privy to the actual facts and are just repeating something they’ve heard third-hand, chances are more than good that they are full of bull.
If you are really concerned and you think it might be valid and it is a friend, go to that person and alert them to what is being said about them. This helps them in accountability, or gives them a chance to give their version to you, and also alerts them to what is being said about them behind their back. You would appreciate that gesture yourself and just remember this type of activity generally makes the rounds to all of us at one time or other.
This is particularly true of those who try to serve the Lord. Remember always that satan does not want us to succeed with our work in the ministry and he will attack us from all directions at every opportunity, using whatever means he has at his disposal. Satanic attack is particularly intense to anyone who is in the ministry. Many a good person has quit the ministry, and some have even quit going to church altogether because of vicious lies being said about them.
Don’t be a part of satan’s team by engaging in gossip, it is one of the things that can destroy any church or ministry. Other terms in the Bible for gossip include: backbiter, busybody, slanderer, discloser of secrets, talebearer and whisperers. A Biblical definition of gossip would be to spread rumors or secrets, speak about someone maliciously behind their back or repeat something about someone else that you have no right to repeat. If you aren’t part of the problem or the solution, its gossip and you should refrain from doing it.
Proverbs 16:28
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.