I have an acquaintance with whom I simply cannot communicate or get along; this in spite of determined, sincere, and well-meaning effort on my part to do so. Recently we had another telephone melee, (one of many). In total exasperation I went whining to a friend about it. He’d heard this many times in the past and apparently was annoyed that yet again I was interrupting him to complain about this same issue. He coldly looked at me, (with a look which can accurately be described as being totally devoid of any sympathy whatsoever), and asked, “Bob have you ever considered the possibility that this guy just does not like you?”
“Huh?”
I innocently responded, “Not like me? What is not to like?” He rolled his eyes skyward and snapped, “Just stay away from him already!”, and went back to reading his book. I indignantly stalked away to brood alone (where I could get the sympathy that I deserved from within).
As I thought about it, I came to the stunning conclusion that in spite of my charming demeanor that it is impossible to be liked by all. As I reflected about my situation I thought of the lowly barnacle in the sea and how I am like a barnacle. A barnacle growing on the bottom of a boat is at the very least disliked and more often than not hated’ by the boat owner, but loved by other barnacles, (and the Parrot Fish and other tropical fish that feed upon them). And then there are those folks who are entirely ambivalent about barnacles and could care less about them one way or the other.
I don’t think that there is anything a barnacle can do to change this situation. So with my barnacle theory in mind, I will be loved/liked/disliked/hated by some, and others will be ambivalent and there is nothing I can do to change that situation; thus I intend to worry no more.
When I face difficult and dark problems, I always try to look towards Jesus Christ and ask myself what He would do in similar circumstances. Jesus was the personification of love and goodness and was loved by some, and yet He was disliked immensely and even hated and despised by others. In spite of their ill will towards Him, Jesus bore no ill will towards those who despised Him and even when He was on the cross at the height of His suffering He asked God to forgive those who were beating, cursing, spitting upon and crucifying Him.
So one thing Jesus does about the situation of some people disliking and/or hating Him is to be willing to forgive them and bear no ill will. The Bible tells us that in as much as it is within our control we should “try” to get along with everyone. We cannot make everyone like us or control how they feel, thus that is out of our control. Our responsibility is to put forth a sincere effort to get along with everyone.
Make the effort and if unsuccessful, don’t fret over it or hold a grudge; forgive and forget. As always we should look to Jesus Christ to guide us.
And as a practical matter of living that peaceful existence, I suppose that we must consider the possibility, (remote as it may be and in spite of our charm and wit), on rare occasions some clowns just won’t like us at all and since it’s obvious we cannot get along, perhaps we should just avoid them entirely.
Have a great weekend and go to church this weekend!
Colossians 3:12
Therefore as the elect of God,
holy and beloved, put on tender mercies,
kindness, humility, meekness,
longsuffering;
bearing with one another, and
forgiving one another, if anyone has
a complaint against another;
even as Christ forgave you,
so you also must do.
But above all these things put
on love, which is the bond of
perfection.
And let the peace of God rule
in your hearts, to which also you
were called in one body;
and be thankful.