I knew it was coming, and I knew it would come fast and furious; I just didn’t know how much hate mail I would receive after some of the comments that I made yesterday. I was not disappointed. I received some angry letters and just so you’ll know, I did with them the same thing I did with some others of late; I got a good laugh, told them to unsubscribe if they didn’t like my rants, and deleted them.
I must be in rare form lately, because even a former criminal-turned-Jesus-freak friend of mine wrote yesterday and said,
“Yo Doc, you’re in rare form today…
‘Quit your bitching and moaning…..’
‘All you PETA crowd morons can just leave your whining at the door…..’
It’s not bad enough you have the Catholics with their panties in a wad, now you’ll have the PETA crowd pissed and setting up camp at HLP. We’re talking 2,000,000 members who raised 30 million bucks in 2009 for their 501c3 joke. How in the world did they get a 501c3?? And who sent them 30 mil????
Not to mention the ‘Leave it to Beaver’ pastors who think it’s a ‘rude’ sin to say ‘crap’……
Lighten up, Dude. Get the Dale Carnegie off that book shelf, drink some decaf and have a veggie burger…… these trips to the prisons are affecting your old dog persona…
If these smucks corner you and you need some help that you can’t find in the Yellow pages, I can round up the crew in 2 minutes. We got yer back, Homeboy.
Have a nice day. Hug a tree – plant a flower…”
It’s so nice to have friends like this guy, huh?
Yesterday I went down to share my testimony with some folks at a Baptist church. After I finished, they generously applauded and I hastily left for my next meeting. I was walking fast towards my car when I saw this lady hurrying towards me waving me down. I arrogantly assumed she wanted to tell me what a nice job I did in giving my testimony.
WRONG!
She immediately lit into me like a buzz saw telling me she recently visited Honey Lake and was sorely disappointed to see that we sold alcohol there. She looked at me with one of those Puritan “you’re gonna go to hell looks”, and demanded to know why we have “so many bars at Honey Lake”.
I looked at her and thought, “Where do I start with this woman?”
First I said, “I want Honey Lake to be a secular establishment and not a Christian meeting place for all us good Christians to sit around telling each other what good Christians we are. I want opportunities to witness to those who don’t know Christ as their Savior, and I am afforded those opportunities daily.
Secondly the Bible says that drinking is not a sin, and people who go to weddings, retreats, or vacations that want to relax and have fun and celebrate with a glass or two of wine or champagne are well within their spiritual and secular rights to do just that. I don’t see one thing wrong with it and lest we forget, the first miracle that Jesus performed was in fact changing water into wine at a wedding ma’am”.
She angrily snapped, “That wasn’t alcohol! It was grape juice.”
“Ahem, you don’t know your Bible; the same Hebrew word used in the passage that described the wine miracle of Jesus was used to describe the wine that Noah and others who got drunk drank”. (Drunk-drank, is that good terminology?)
“Grape juice doesn’t make you drunk!”
She was not convinced and said with a sneer, “You’re an alcoholic, you of all people should know the harmful effects that drinking can have on someone”
“That I am ma’am – And that I do, and that’s why alcoholics shouldn’t drink…”
Okay, by this time I was getting very irritated at her haughty demeanor.
Grrrrrrr!!! Out pops that old dark side. I said, “Not everyone who drinks keeps drinking until they’re drunk; in fact most people drink in moderation. My wife can have a glass of wine with her meal and stop. I however want to keep drinking until I’m drunk. Should I deny those like her who can drink in moderation their glass of wine because I’m a drunk?”
Then I carefully looked at her and it was obvious from viewing her porked up body that her best friend was a fork (or possibly a shovel). I said, “You know eating too much is very harmful to your body and gluttony is a sin”.
She turned a little red, (okay maybe a lot red). She said that she said knew that, and in fact maybe she was “a little” overweight herself.
I tried not to roll my eyes as I said, “Some people continue eating far beyond their limit and keep gorging at the trough until their face is bigger than a medicine ball and their big bellies bulge half way down to their knees. So do you suppose that since some folks cannot eat in moderation that we should close down our restaurants at Honey Lake too? Should we ban grocery stores? Should we require muzzles to be worn by the populace? (Maybe someone could send that to Michael Bloomberg as his next idea for controlling obesity in NYC.)
Some people watch pornography on computers and television sets from daylight until dark, and since some folks cannot seem to control their addictions maybe we should ban those devices too. And perhaps we can make all of the women wear burkas and ban makeup because some men lust after them. Maybe we could ban speedo swim suits because it causes some women’s eyes to bulge – eh? Yep and for sure we should ban model airplane kits ‘cause some folks like to sniff glue.
I don’t think so ma’am. The Bible teaches that we should do everything in moderation and that includes…well… everything, and not just alcohol.”
She snapped, “Well I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree”.
“Yes ma’am I suppose we will. Have a great day!”
Crap on it! I know I should have been nice and that Jesus would not have handled this situation the way I did. I very much enjoyed reading Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people”. In fact I used to read it at least once every year. Unfortunately even though I’m well aware of what I’m supposed to do, oftentimes its lessons are totally lost on me. The same goes with my beloved Bible. I read the Bible every day, but cannot seem to follow every jot and tittle, (yes an understatement).
I’m happy God understands my weaknesses and forgives me unconditionally; otherwise I’d bust hell wide open – I wish everyone did likewise; (especially those who purport to represent him and want to crucify me, supposedly on His behalf)…Selah!
Have a great weekend and go to church this Sunday!
Matt. 23:13
“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.”