I have a close friend who has a solid ministry who recently confided in me that he was having an affair and then he asked for advice. He told me that it started out with some innocent flirtation and gradually intensified and before he knew it they were head over heels in love with each other to the point of hopping into the sack and making passionate love.
He and his wife had been married for a very long time, but apparently were just going through the motions and had been doing so for many long years. He told me that his love for his wife had grown cold and he loved this gal with a love that made him giddy and his real desire was to get a divorce and marry her.
She was single and felt exactly the same about him. Both are solid Christians and felt very guilty about the sin and all of the sneaking around to see each other, and the fear of having their sin exposed. They felt it was only a matter of time until they were caught and to do so would have devastating consequences that would negatively affect his family, friends, and of course his ministry and all of those who look up to him.
But similar to a lovesick high school kid he could barely eat or sleep for constantly thinking about her and he wanted to marry her and she felt likewise.
Yikes!
All I could do is point out what the Bible says about divorce. Our debased society has widely accepted divorce and it has done the same with homosexuality and abortion, but God states that it’s wrong. We live in an imperfect world so God allowed for divorce due to immorality, (Matt.19:9) and Paul for abandonment, (1 Cor. 7:15), but God did not make any provision for falling out of love with the spouse and in love with the girlfriend.
Today divorce is commonplace in our country and so are the consequences that prompted God to warn us about it in the first place such as broken families, children with single parents, and broken hearts.
I told my friend that it is my opinion that God cannot bless him if he remains deliberately disobedient to Him. Then I submitted something that I consider to be poignant and that cuts to the very heart of the matter. I suggested to him that giving up something that he really wants with all of his heart for God is the ultimate demonstration of faith and surrender. Unlike sin which must be punished God can only mightily bless such action.
Although it would take tremendous courage and sacrifice to give up something he loves and treasures with all of his heart, to voluntarily give it up for God’s sake is quite a statement.
I left it there and no further advice was forthcoming.
Now for all of you who want to stone him to death and drum him out of the ministry for committing adultery. When the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus and asked if they should stone her according to their law, Jesus told them to let the person who had no sin in their life cast the first stone and then He began writing something in the sand. I believe He was writing various sins or perhaps even the Ten Commandments. They all left beginning with the oldest man there. He looked at the woman and asked her where all of her accusers were and if anyone had condemned her. She answered that they had all left and no one had condemned her. He said: “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
I don’t think Jesus used the sin of adultery by accident for this illustration. I believe He used it because He knew sex sin was an enticing temptation from the beginning of time and would be so to the bitter end and that most everyone could relate to lust. Falling to its lure and cravings will yield unfortunate consequences, but it’s not the end of the world, and it should not be a reason for condemnation by any of us.
Recently a friend of mine and I were discussing the fall of famous televangelists, Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Baker. My buddy knows them both personally and has seen Swaggart preach to 80,000 people in South America and seen 15,000 of them give their hearts to the Lord and over 3000 do so in a crowded arena in Orlando Florida. Between the two of these preachers hundreds of thousands, (if not millions), of people have been led to the Lord by their ministries.
But when they fell in disgrace for their sins, they were reviled by our nation at large. My buddy told me he views their plight as being similar to some Navy Seals that we lost in Somalia. These valiant soldiers were among the finest that our country ever trained. When their mission failed some harped incessantly on the “botched” operation, but the fact remains that these men were among the best trained and were the most courageous soldiers in the world and they ended up giving their very lives for their country.
Shame on those who talk badly about our soldiers!
Those soldiers who stick their head up above the clover in the ministry and attempt to evangelize the world are satan’s biggest targets. He’d like nothing better than to see them fall and I believe they are incessantly targeted for constant temptation as none others on the face of the earth. Many pastors, priests, preachers, deacons, and choir leaders have given in to the temptation and tip toed into the Soprano section and worse. Before you pick up the stone and cast it at them, consider your own sin and temptations, (and believe me you won’t have to look hard or long to find them).
We live in a fallen world and all we can do is the best we can. Jesus has so much compassion and love for sinners that He literally came down from His throne in heaven and died a horrible, painful, death on a cross.
How should we view sinners?
In exactly the same manner – as best we can my friends…
Jesus stated that He did not come to judge or condemn the world, rather to save it. We should model our lives after His. No doubt about it God will ultimately judge the world and He will condemn those sinners who have not accepted His Son’s blood sacrifice, but that time has not come yet, and we currently live in the age of grace.
The bottom line is that we shouldn’t be judging or condemning anyone; that is God’s job. We should have compassion even when it’s born through anguish.
John 8:1
…but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
At dawn He appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”