Yesterday was a full day for me. I wrote WFTD and then went turkey hunting. Shortly after daylight I called up and bagged a very nice mature gobbler. After properly showing off my turkey to anyone who would listen (and those who would not), I showered and got dressed. I made a stab at answering fifty or more e-mails, (still hundreds to go), and then jumped on a conference call regarding the potential sale of the movie rights to my autobiography.
Then I sped away to a luncheon for a Rotary club in a neighboring city where I was their keynote speaker. When I got back I conducted several meetings regarding construction.
And when I returned home to my loving wife, she informed me that I had to start taking medicine to prepare for my colonoscopy today. NOT GOOD! I equivocate the tiny laxative pills that I took with the most explosive ordinates known to mankind; they may be small but they are quite deadly.
Then my smiling wife told me that I had to drink a half GALLON of the foulest tasting liquid I have ever tried in just 90 minutes and then another half gallon beginning at 4:30 a.m. this morning. And then with her sardonic grin still firmly implanted on her face, she served my lunch, a yellow Popsicle.
In-between what amounted to the first of many hurried trips to the restroom I answered more e-mails, and lo and behold I discovered an e-mail that chastised me for writing WFTD yesterday and treating my wife in an undignified manner and not affording her the proper amount of love and respect. Puh-le-e-e-ease!
After giving me a little piece of her mind this lady said she had been married for thirty years and wanted to know how long I had been married. I responded forty long years, and then I mentioned that though she might not have understood that particular WFTD was an example of my weird sense of humor, my wife has certainly had lived with me long enough not to get her feelings hurt over it. I told her to lighten up and smile a big beautiful smile. She wrote me back that she now “gets it” and went on to say she was “smiling” now.
I have not been on solid food since day before yesterday, my stomach is rolling, I’m still drinking that gallon of foul liquid, I have worn a trail to the bathroom in our heart pine floors, and in a few hours I have to go have a procedure performed on a very sensitive area of my body that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and this lady and my wife are smiling.
I’m sitting here staring at a bowl of jelly beans on my desk and I want one so bad that I am drooling. I also want a cup of coffee, but I cannot have cream in it. Now you ask me is satan real? Yes! Do we live in a fallen world? Yes! Would I love for the Rapture to occur today? Yes!
Am I smiling? NO!
It is not lost on me that I told that lady yesterday to “lighten up and smile a big beautiful smileâ€. Even so – Come quickly Lord Jesus…
Rev. 22:20
He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.