A time to thump

“The wild turkey has telescopic eyesight. They can see much better than humans and can see the finest detail more clearly than any other game. Not only does the wild turkey have telescopic vision, their field of vision is over 180 degrees spread. A wild turkey can see an eye move or blink a hundred yards away. Turkeys are seldom found alone, especially when feeding. And the entire flock is extremely cautious and they have a built in cooperative feature, namely that there is always one or more set of these great eyes looking in all directions. And when one sounds the alarm, they all disappear. You cannot squirm around when you hunt these magnificent birds; you cannot move; you cannot blink or breathe when they are present. Movements must be extremely slow even if you think they are not looking.”

This was my spiel to my buddy whom I took turkey hunting Saturday. I asked if he understood and he nodded yes.

“Good!”

Just after the sun came up I gently purred and let out a couple of plaintive yelps on my turkey call. Instantly a gobbler thundered his good morning to us from a tree located right behind us. Unfortunately so did several distracting hens, one of which flew down emitting a loud fly-down-cackle with the old gobbler in hot pursuit. I tried to call him back and then two more hens flew down and fortunately for us turned and came right up to our blind. I guess the old gobbler was polygamous because he started coming in our direction too and was gobbling red hot gobbles every time his foot hit the ground trying his best to establish his harem and get them all rounded up.

The two hens were way ahead of the old tom and they walked right up in front of where we were sitting and could not figure out where the hen that was doing all of the calling, (me) was located. One walked up within ten feet and was staring directly at our blind. I remained frozen like a statue, not daring to even blink.

Suddenly I saw my buddy calmly reach up and casually adjust his face mask and glasses. The hen looked like she was mortified. She let out a loud warning call, “PUT!” And both of them took off running, putting, and screaming bloody murder every step of the way as they ran through the woods warning every turkey within hearing distance, (including the big gobbler). I was madder than a hornet and felt like thumping my buddy on the ear as hard as I could, but decided to just let it go (for now).

The entire flock moved into the woods several hundred yards away and would not come back to the most enticing calls in my repertoire. Since we were “busted” I decided we should move to a new location and maybe try calling them from an entirely different direction. We sneaked through the woods to a place about 150 yards away from where the gobbler was still gobbling. My buddy sat in front of me and I started calling. The old gobbler would answer but he would not leave the hens and come to us.

After a while I realized that all was probably lost, unless maybe I could pull off a long shot and imitate another gobbler and make the old tom mad. I pulled out my very loud gobbler locater-call and prepared to let out a very loud gobble, hoping to make him angry enough to entice him to come charging out to protect his turf. Heretofore I had been gently calling and softly purring trying my best to quietly seduce the old gobbler with soothing, tender-loving hen calls.

My buddy was oblivious to all of this and was sitting directly in front of me intently looking straight ahead. I was still really steamed at him for not following instructions and decided I would kill two birds with one stone, (pun intended). One, I would try to make the old gobbler mad enough to come running to us with a loud harsh call. And two, I would scare the living daylights out of my buddy at the same time.

I took the call and without letting my friend see what I was doing I viciously shook the extremely loud gobbler locator-call with all my might right behind his head. He was so startled that he literally jumped a foot off the ground. This poor guy thought a gobbler had flown down and landed on his head and was scared out of his wits. He told me later it took eight years off his life and he was pretty sure that he soiled the brand new hunting pants that he had bought the night before.

Hmmm…

Lest you think it was caddy of me to do such a dastardly thing to a friend, consider that I was three for three on turkeys prior to this guy blowing my four for four opportunity when he felt the urge to casually adjust his face mask and glasses with turkeys standing ten feet in front of him after just having been warned not to even breathe. What was up with that?

Okay what would Jesus have done? Hmmmm…. I would imagine that He would not have gotten angry or even cared that my buddy had just ruined some silly record of potentially going four for four on turkey hunting and dismissed the record as shameful pride. He would have patiently explained once again (to this obviously slow learner) that turkeys have excellent vision and He would have very gently taught him that he must remain still when they are present and refrain from moving. He would have lovingly encouraged my friend and bolstered his confidence by telling him not to let it get him down, and reassured him that everyone makes mistakes. Prior to calling with the gobbler call He would have gently tapped my buddy on the shoulder and warned him that He was going to stop softly calling and purring as He had been doing all morning, and was getting ready to cut loose with an exceedingly loud gobbler call. He would smile and tell him not to let the loud call scare him. Lastly He would have summoned that old turkey up for my buddy with superior calling and let him hammer him right in the head with high base number four shot turkey loads.

Okay, okay, forget the last point, but the rest are all probably valid.

I suppose my lesson from this incident was that no matter how hard I try, God’s laws are impossible for me to follow, (and you). We can try our best, but at times we get angry, we swell up with pride, we fail to forgive, we covet, tell a dirty joke, curse, lust, we get jealous, drink too much, eat too much, we are sometimes crude, rude, and lewd, boisterous, impatient, unkind, boastful, disrespectful, vengeful, unloving, and on and on.

I can understand that we as ordinary people are not capable of following God’s holy laws every single time even when clothed in the full armor of God and trying our utmost to live righteously. I readily admit that I can’t do it.

The Bible teaches that only Jesus could lead a sin free life and in so doing His sinless, innocent, snow-white lamb blood sacrifice for our sins was deemed acceptable to a holy righteous God as payment for all of our sins, provided (and this is important) that we accept Him as our Savior, confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, repent as best we know how, and follow Him.

It’s called grace and I praise His holy name for it. No one can be good enough to get into heaven apart from the covering of the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches that axiom in unmistakable terms and all the misguided anti-Christ pontificators on this planet cannot change God’s righteous laws one jot or one tittle. God cannot tolerate sin — ANY sin… There must be holy righteous punishment for each and every sin committed. We cannot atone for our sins. There is only one way and that is through the precious blood of Christ who made that payment for us.

I’m glad He saved me from myself and paid my sin debt. How about you?

Matt. 5:17
Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. … For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.