For our own good

I know someone who just recently tragically lost a child to a murderer and is understandably dreading the upcoming holidays. I saw an interview with the Connecticut man, William Petit, whose wife and daughters were brutally murdered three years ago. One of the killers had just been sentenced to death and reporters asked Mr. Petit if the death penalty would now bring closure to him.

He endured a home invasion by a couple of meth addicts and was so badly beaten that he narrowly escaped death and spent months in the hospital. His wife was brutally raped and strangled to death while his daughters were forced to watch. They were also sexually assaulted in the worst possible manner and then the addicts poured gasoline on them and set them on fire while they were still alive and they died an agonizing death. Mr. Petit was the sole survivor and his entire family was horribly wiped out.

Closure?

Understandably he got really angry and said that there could never be closure for him. He went on to say that he had a jagged hole in his heart that will always be there. The most he could hope for would be to somehow smooth out some of the jagged edges around it to reduce the pain.

It’s difficult to envision living through something like that and I can only imagine how Mr. Petit feels when he is all alone and he thinks about the upcoming holidays. He stated that he gets through it through his faith in God, his family, friends, and well-wishers, but it’s still a difficult daily battle.

Although I’ve never experienced such tragedy, I have endured unimaginable tragedy of my own in the suicide of my beloved brother Jim. I agree with Mr. Petit that closure never comes. It seems like only yesterday that Jim took his life, but amazingly it has been over ten years now. I still miss him terribly and tears are streaming down my face as I type these words and think about him.

I miss him!

I don’t believe I’ll ever get over it, and I have one of those holes in my heart that Mr. Petit described. Time has reduced the pain and I suppose some of the jagged edges are gone, but I still miss him so much that mere words are inadequate to describe the feeling. The holidays don’t seem to make much of a difference to me. I miss him and think of him most every day whether it’s a holiday or not.

What does help is to try and draw closer to God and my advice to anyone suffering through similar heartbreak at the moment would be to do likewise. The Bible tells us that God’s Holy Spirit is known as the “Comforter”. Jesus encouraged the disciples by telling them not to be anxious because He would soon be leaving them via His impending death and Resurrection.

He went on to say that it was actually for their own good that He go away: “But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” (John 16:7)

Indeed the Comforter’s presence in my life is the only thing that really reduces the pain in my heart and it’s most noticeable to me when I’m reading the Holy Bible and/or in deep prayer. There I find meaning for life and death, and as many answers to the “Why?” questions that He will allow me in this life. I feel truly blessed that the Lord sent the Comforter to me, because I cannot imagine bearing such pain all alone.

Most of all I find HOPE in the pages of the Bible. It’s hard to live, in bad times or good, without hope. You certainly won’t find hope in the phony substitutes and countless distractions of our modern society. At the end of the day there is no therapy or drug, no self-improvement program, no political or social movement, no philosophy, no economic plan, mind numbing drug or alcohol, or number of possessions that can bring hope to someone who has none.

My brother accepted Christ as his Savior before he died and I have not the slightest doubt that he was forgiven of all of his sins including suicide and today he reigns with Christ in heaven where there will never be tears, heartache, sadness, grief, or gut-wrenching pain. The Bible states that all of those are “former” things and that they will disappear forever. In Christ lies hope. Don’t follow the world my friends, follow Jesus Christ who offers hope for all of fallen mankind

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

Revelation 21:3-4
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”