Clean hands

It seems that trouble comes in waves. First I had major surgery including bone grafts, removal of my front tooth, reconstruction of nearly every tooth in my head and significant gum surgery. I was in serious pain for several weeks and just as I had nearly recovered, I had to have my gall bladder removed. After a couple of weeks of agony I began to recover from the pain associated with that surgery and then I had phase two surgery on my gums on Monday. I have been enduring torturous pain from that surgery all week and can barely stand to eat or drink anything or even touch my gums. I have four more anguishing sessions to go, spaced out every few weeks and will not be through until late June.

Yesterday I learned my father is in the hospital in serious condition. He refuses to have an operation that could potentially save his life because it would greatly lessen the quality of his life. His condition is complicated by the fact that he is 87 and he has Parkinson’s. He told me yesterday that he is “ready to go home to Jesus”. When he gets out of the hospital he intends to go back home and pick up where he left off. He falls often and yet will not move into an assisted living facility and he refuses to allow me to hire a fulltime nurse to care for him at his home. My stepmother cannot help him to his feet when he falls and does not know what to do. Neither do I.

ARGHHHHH!

When I woke up this morning my mouth was covered with blood and aching. My head was throbbing and I was reviewing all of the foregoing. I have been praying that God will draw close to me and cover me with His radiant love. I know that He is close to me because the Bible assures me in James 4:8 that if I draw close to Him, He will draw close to me, and I am comforted.

I am happy that I am a Christian. I would not want to bear the trials and tribulations of this world alone in darkness. I have experienced my fair share of triumphs and tragedy in my life. I know that neither lasts very long and that our lives are filled with valleys and peaks. Many people are far worse off than me at the moment and many are better off. Although currently I am in a valley, I look forward to God delivering me out of it. My prayer is that God will comfort my father and me in the days ahead. My faith remains strong in spite of the trials that I endure and I think that is what our Father desires of us I pray that my hands remain clean.

Job 17:9
Nevertheless the righteous will hold to his way, And he who has clean hands will grow stronger and stronger.