Nowhere to hide

My wife left me to fend for myself in the Keys while she went off babysitting in Atlanta last Thursday. It has not been pretty. Cooking, cleaning up after myself, making up the bed, and engaging in assorted woman’s work, (no letters please), is not what I signed up for when I got married nearly forty years ago.

I am alone with our little dog Cooper, and he has not been helping matters. Against my strenuous objections, my wife decided to make Cooper into a eunuch a couple of weeks ago and got him “fixed” by the local vet.

An amazing transformation has occurred. Prior to his ill fated operation, Cooper was perfectly potty trained and a gentle little pup. Now he is piddling and dumping anywhere he pleases. Not only that, but he has been glaring at me lately and if I dangle my hand down beside the couch or off the bed when I am trying to nap, he will sneak up on me and bite me hard on my fingers. Cooper’s attitude has hardened and he has become cold hearted malicious almost overnight.

At the risk of being accused of being like “Son of Sam” Berkowitz, I must admit that I can hear him talking, (Ok, maybe I can just “know” his thoughts telepathically). Whatever I could swear that Cooper told me that he was going to get even with me for making him into a eunuch. It then occurred to me that his recent “loss of memory” concerning potty training is just one wicked example of his getting even with me. I mean after all, how does one forget something like that?

I decided to set the record straight once and for all. I responded out loud to him, “Listen up pal that was not my idea, I fought that operation tooth and nail. We men stick together, “It’s all for one, and one for all” with me little buddy. That was just wrong what she did to you. She attacked your manhood and it was just WRONG! It was nasty lowdown mean Cooper. I cringe to even think of it. Trust me little buddy I would never do that to you. You want to take it out on someone, take it out on Teresa, it was way her idea all of the way my young friend”.

I quickly looked around to make sure no was listening. Hmmm Is it possible that I have been alone and isolated with no human contact with this little mutt for far too long?

I have been trying to anticipate when Cooper might be in the mood to do his thing and have been taking him outside often. I don’t know what is going on. He used to go running out into our spacious yard, cock his little leg and aggressively mark every tree, rock, and bush in sight within seconds of letting him outside. Now he lazily strolls out and lays down and yawns. He shows no interest in even entering the yard or leaving the paver driveway. If he does go, he just squats down like a girl and does it in the driveway against my arduous objections.

On one such trip he walked right to the center of an entertainment area adjacent to our swimming pool. It has a beautiful marbled floor surrounded by gorgeous little palms, a magnificent statue, chairs and glass topped tables. Cooper walked over there and stood for a moment glaring at me again and then deliberately laid a pile right in the absolute center of the entertainment area on the polished marble floor. He then looked at me with that sardonic little smile of his and dared me to do something about it.

That did it, I could take it no more. I let out an oath and took off after him ready to beat him senseless. He ran under my truck and stayed under there just out of reach. He would not come out and I yelled at him, “You little son of a she dog”, (except I didn’t say she dog). “Come out of there before I beat your eyeballs right out of your head” I screamed.

He just looked at me with his mouth hanging partially open as he feigned panting. I knew better than that. I shrieked, “You aren’t panting! You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?”

Suddenly I caught myself. What is going on here?

Hmmm Sometimes it is embarrassing to think that God sees and records for eternity our every move, is it not?

Did you know that God’s word the Bible is filled with details of God’s knowledge. For example, He knows the number and names of all the stars Psalm 147:4; He knows how many hairs are on our heads Matt. 10:30; He knows every sparrow Matt.10:29; He knows our secret sins Psalm 90:8; He knows every intent of our thoughts 1 Chron. 28:9; He knows everything that we do Proverbs 5:21; He knows out thoughts before we even think them Ezk.11:5.

Suffice it to say He knows us and everything about us.

Sigh.

Hebrews 4:13
And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.