The Difference

I am writing a book of my life and it is exceedingly difficult to dredge up the past and recount the horrific lifestyle I once had. It has to be done in my estimation to show just how powerful God is in transforming lives. I went from being a miserable wretch to someone who enjoys peace and happiness. It is painful however to relive my dark past. Even though it happened decades ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. I am happy that I am finished with that portion of the book and am moving into the part where my life began to be transformed.

It is my hope that those who eventually read my book will receive hope and comfort from it, especially those with problems. I liken myself to Lazarus as I was dead and now am alive. My situation was about as bad as it could get and I doubt if there is anyone reading this that is in that bad of shape spiritually. I was filled with hate and my thoughts about God were dark. As a result my life was nearly pure evil and my favorite saying back then was that “I wish that I had been born dead”. Back in those days, I figured if there was a God He had to be mean for allowing me to be born into this world that I hated, and I wanted no’ part of Him. Little did I know that what I needed most in my wretched life was EVERY’ part of God.

I hitch-hiked into Atlanta miserable and all alone with the mindset to either find a better life or end it once and for all. Miraculously I found the Lord and after accepting Christ my life began to dramatically improve and has done so every year since. The point of the book is that if I was able to overcome my situation, anyone can overcome theirs, providing they use the same steps to success that I used, namely asking God to come into my life and take it over and then sticking with it through thick and thin.


I have about decided to entitle the book “The Difference” based upon an incident I experienced with my brother. In 1998, my brother called me and was totally emotionally distraught. He sobbed that he had hit absolute bottom and did not know where to go or what to do. He related to me that we both came out of the same womb, were raised in the same dysfunctional way, were similar in many ways including our looks, intellect, and most any other measurable criteria, and yet I was happy and successful in nearly every way and he on the other hand was utterly miserable, had been married several times, and had dark problems that seemed unsolvable and his life was filled with pain. I remember telling him that I once was in exactly the same place that he was, (if not worse), and I related to him that there was one big difference’ between us and that was that I now had Jesus Christ in my life and he did not. Jesus Christ delivered me from the same suffering that my brother was experiencing and I urged him to allow the Lord to come into his life.

Soon after that conversation he visited me and we visited my pastor together and he did accept Jesus as his Savior. I took him to Borders and he bought a Bible and he began to study it and his life turned on a dime. Upon returning home, he was Baptized with his son and wife and life became great for a period of about one and a half years and he seemed genuinely happy for the first time that I could remember. Unfortunately when the problems that had been plaguing him disappeared, so did his Bible study and attendance to worship service. I remember the last conversation that I ever had with him. I asked if he was still attending church and studying his Bible, and he related to me that although he knew he needed to do so, he had lapsed in that area. I warned him that if he turned his back on the Lord, that he would once again be faced with trying to make it in a mean world alone and on his own and that it could not be done. The warning went unheeded and he went into a downward spiral of disastrous, sickening events that made him so miserable that he took his life three months later, (May 18th 2000).

Accepting the Lord as your Savior is just the first step in obtaining a better life. Although that is a great first step, it is my belief that transformation is not a lightening bolt affair nor an overnight process. It takes ‘continuous’ prayer, Bible Study and fellowship with other believers to overcome sin and to be transformed. It is hard to change from a ‘lifetime’ of sin overnight. Satan will continue to tempt you throughout the rest of your life and in fact intensify his efforts to regain your soul. I have personally experienced this temptation as have all of you on many occasions. I admit that I have taken many a fall since becoming a Christian. I have however stayed with the Lord, and when I stumble and/or fall, I ask His forgiveness. He graciously picks me back up and dusts me off again, and forgives me my weakness. The difference’ in our lives is God, but we must draw close to Him daily whereby he will remain close to us and protect us at all times. If you want a different life filled with happiness and peace, then follow God every minute of every day and He will give it to you. There is no other way! If you go it alone as I once tried and as my brother tried, it will end in tragedy




Ephesians 2:1
And you He made alive who
were dead in trespasses and
sins,
in which you once walked
according to the course of this world,
according to the prince of the power
of the air, the spirit who now works
in the sons of disobedience,
among whom we all once
conducted ourselves in the lusts of
our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the
flesh and of the mind, and were by
nature children of wrath, just as the
others.
But God, who is rich in mercy,
because of His great love with
which He loved us,
even when we were dead in trespasses,
made us alive together with
Christ (by grace you have been
saved),
and raised up together in the heavenly
places in Christ Jesus.
For by grace you have been
saved through faith, and that not of
yourselves; it is the gift of God,
not of works, lest anyone should boast.
for we are all His workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus for good
works, which God prepared beforehand
that we should walk in them.